Guide to the Orchestra:
- Piccolo: SCREAMING
- Flute: Every time you talk to them they just look at you like you're a piece of trash.
- Oboe: FUCKING REEEEEDDDSSSSSS
- English Horn: Actually I get a lot more than Dvorak 9 there's Rhapsodie Espagnole and Roman Carnival Overture and
- E-Flat Clarinet: HIGH NOTES HIGH NOTES HIGH NOTES
- B-Flat Clarinet: Arpeggios wheeeeee
- Bass Clarinet: Grumbling both with their instrument and their vocal chords.
- Bassoon: NOOOO NOT VIVALDI
- Contrabassoon: LOW NOTES YESSSSS
- French Horn: TUTTI PARTS YES TIME TO BLAAAASSST
- Trumpet: FANFARE TIME doot da doot dooooooot BAP
- Trombone: FINLANDIA YESSSS
- Bass Trombone: FINLANDIA EXTREEEEMMMME VERSION
- Tuba: *skips rehearsal and leaves a foghorn in their seat. Nobody notices*
- Percussion: more like concussion lol
- Harp: LEVERS FUKCKCJRSJJS
- 1st Violins: IF THE WINDS ARENT PLAYING WERE PLAYING THE MELODY
- 2nd Violins: IF WE ARENT PLAYING THE HARMONY WERE AN OCTAVE BELOW THE 1st VIOLINS
- Viola: WHAT AM I AAAAAAAA
- Cello: MELODY IN THE HIGH RANGE YESSSSS
- Double Bass: JUST PLEASE GIVE US OUR OWN PART NONE OF THAT CELLO BULLSHIT
How to build friendships in musical ensembles
*conductor does something weird*
*everyone shares that meaningful look at each other*
me whenever i have a cold: i can’t remember the last time i could breathe out of my left nostril…it must have been 14 years ago when i was a child on the farm..life was simpler back then….. i remember the sound of the creek over by that big rock.. when papa came home from the town bearing fresh yeast for ma to make bread with, i breathed in the crisp fall air through both nostrils before heading into the kitchen, where i could smell all of our spices
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
Is anyone else just instantly endeared by people chillin’ on surfaces that aren’t made for sitting? Like hopped up on a counter with a cup of coffee, cross-legged on the floor eating cereal, drinking wine fully clothed in a bathtub, sprawled out on the hood of a car with snacks for a meteor shower, etc? I don’t know why I love it so much, but I do.
(via teamrocketing)
An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and
she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing
older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s
never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.
(via okaymad)
long-live-the-queen-of-moondoor:
Why do Americans put the month first. It just makes no sense.
We put the month first because in conversation we say, “July 1st, 2015.” Because it’s quicker than “The first of July, 2015.”
“Tomorrow is May 29th” not “Tomorrow is the 29th of May.” That is why we write it 5/29/15 and not 29/5/15. Because we go by how we phrase it in conversation rather than in sequence because it converts better between numbers and language when written in the former. We also use the month first because that’s how calendars are organized. You have one year and one calendar so the year is a constant and can go in the back. However, calendars aren’t organized my days, but rather by months. You flip to the months first and then find the day. So…. p>
While on this topic, we also use Fahrenheit and not Celsius because a 0-100 scale of measuring temperature makes a lot more sense to a human. We know that 0 is really fucking cold and 100 is really fucking hot, which makes sense. Celsius, however, is just about how water responds to temperature, and makes no sense when applied to humans. Fahrenheit is for people, Celsius is for water. And I am a people not a water.
oh
I find this very funny cause you say that but your independence day is not called July 4th, its called the 4th of July.
What I find funny is that our armies were about half the size of the British army and yet we were still able to crush your crumby asses, declare independence and pour your tea in the ocean.
(via ugly)
Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.Simon Sinek (via wordsnquotes)
(via wnq-writers)
I was quiet, but I was not blind.Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
(via wordsnquotes)
(via wordsnquotes)